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Situaciones privilegiadas y momentos perfectos..

2011-11-30T20:10:00.000-08:00

Tengo una cualidad rara y preciosa.., un poder que duerme por decisión propia aunque a veces espere que se despierte.., aunque existan momentos en que pareciera que mi deseo sí se hizo realidad hace unos años.., sólo debo practicar..

Tengo el poder de conjurar situaciones privilegiadas y momentos perfectos..
De niña me perdí un poco con la gimnasia artística, la profesión de mi padre, las competencias de natación y de baseball, pero me encontré a mí misma lanzándome del segundo piso porque puedo volar, y respirando bajo el agua porque viví en el mar hace poco.., recordé mi alma con todos esos viajes privilegiados y todas aquellas premoniciones..

No me di cuenta en qué momento se filtró un factor más en mis momentos perfectos.., y a veces otorgué papeles más importantes que el mío en las dulces tragedias, entonces el éxito de aquellos momentos estaba en sus manos.., una responsabilidad abrumadora indeed.., donde el resultado no sería suficiente.., aunque lo fuera..

Cómo quería que convirtieras esos signos anunciadores y situaciones privilegiadas en momentos perfectos.., en aquellos momentos donde ninguna interrupción mundana está permitida, ni el frío, ni el hambre, ni el sueño, ni el dolor..
Y me sentía tan 'loca' al lado de tu cordura.., como una actriz fuera de lugar.., y aunque todos somos actores.., yo era muy buena..

Entiendo.. y al hacerlo voy en busca de deshacerme de mi necesidad de esos momentos perfectos.., reconozco que nada existente viene a posarse sobre mí para cambiarme o iluminarme, soy yo la que transforma energía, la que existe, la que siente, la que busca.., pero sé que dejándolos ir será la única forma de vivirlos.., porque ciertamente, no existen aquellos momentos perfectos..

Pero sí existen aquellas situaciones privilegiadas que uno debe aprovechar y convertirlas en los más bellos recuerdos.., porque si de algo estoy segura es de que no deseo construir mis recuerdos con mi presente..

Amar es toda una hazaña..

que se desarrolla en el momento adecuado para cada uno..

y aún así se necesita energía, disponibilidad y cierto coraje para saltar
.. un riesgo que paga muy alto y duplica todo por 2

..un equipo..

2010-10-27T18:46:00.000-07:00

Forse bastava respirare.., solo respirare muy lento..

fino a riprendersi ogni battito e non cercare lattimo,

per andar via.., 'non andare via'..

perchè non può essere abitudine senza te..

Invece no.., non cè più tempo per spiegare..

per chiedere se 'te amé lo suficiente'..

io sono qui.., e avrei da dire ancora..

Perchè si spezzano tra i denti le cose più importanti,

esas palabras que nunca escucharás..,

y las sumergo en un lamento per farle risalire e riportarle qui,
le senti tu.., pesano e si posano per sempre su di noi

pero si me faltas tú, no las puedo repetir.., io non riesco a dirle più..

En cambio no..

qui piovono i ricordi de aquellos días que corríamos al viento..,

quiero soñar.. que puedo hablarte ahora..

ed io farei di più, di ammettere che è tardi

come vorrei poter parlare ancora..

E invece no.., non ho più tempo per spiegare..

avevo anchio qualcosa da sperare davanti a me

qualcosa da finire insieme a te.

Forse mi basta con esperar.. e solo respirare muy lento..

forse è tardi.., forse invece no..

Aún no se llenaba la luna

2010-07-17T21:56:00.000-07:00

Y me quedé en suspenso..

con la ilusión a cuestas..,

con la esperanza guardada en el bolsillo roto de un pantalón..
en el baúl sin fondo de mis decepciones..

¿Será que aún no se llenaba la luna?

Y me quedé en suspenso..

con una historia breve..

en los niveles más bajos de los latidos del corazón..
entre lo inverosímil de mis frustraciones..

Será.. que aún no se llenaba la luna..

Regalar esta noche y pedir de vuelta mañana

2010-06-13T23:59:00.000-07:00

Quisiera..
... devolver esta noche mi sexto sentido...
aunque lo pida de vuelta mañana por la mañana...
dejar mis delirios a un lado..,
o poder mentirme a mí misma diciendo que eso es lo que son:
'delirios' de una mente con heridas y condicionamientos..

Quisiera volver a ser mala..
aunque me arrepienta mañana..,
aunque sea mentira..
volver a burlarme del romance y que mi oscuridad también apliqué a tí..
..como quisiera volver a estar ciega de seguridad..

Cuando te hiciste tan fuerte, tan agudo y tan místico?,
cuando te salieron ojos para imagenes?
Vete esta vez..

Esta vez elijo desterrarte porque me estás mintiendo..
.. por favor que me estés mintiendo..!
Que se alineen las estrellas y te venzan con amor,
que la fuerza de nuestra conexión haga que él escuche mi voz..
aún está a tiempo.., o quizá no..
que la luna le recuerde lo que va a perder..
y que las montañas que tanto ama lo hagan detenerse esta vez..

Hoy regalo mis delirios de sexto sentido..
pero los pediré de vuelta mañana por la mañana..

Maravilla de una noche de leyenda

2009-10-28T20:59:00.000-07:00

Un inicio en la sorpresa de un encuentro casual..,
.. si es que existe algo como un inicio cuando la noche juega al azar..

Sin saber, sin planear, sin calcular..,

como ocurren las cosas más hermosas..

fuimos creando una maravilla y una ofrenda..

Un ángel las vió y quiso tenerlas..

Ahora sé que su intención no era exactamente esa.

Esperó otra época.., una lucha, una distracción..,

aprovechó una cadena de locuras y una pizca de inmadurez necesaria..,

tan necesaria en la humanidad..

Y qué locuras!

Aprovechó el sabio ciclo de la vida y el consecuente ciclo del amor..,

y por qué no.., aprovechó los miedos terrenales.., tán básicos..

aprovechó que eramos dos, y se las llevó..

Ahora sé que sólo las quería prestadas..

Sintió ternura, felicidad y calor..,

esculpió con su aliento una vez más nuestra maravilla y ofrenda..

..hasta que se volvió leyenda..

Y esparció aquello desde su corazón..

Quién fuera el afortunado mi amor.., quienes fueran..,

con un tesoro de verdad..

aunque los conceptos de felicidad no puedan nunca cambiar..

Y nos devolvió con un toque mágico lo que tomó prestado..

después de la lucha, después de la tiranía de la cordura..

porque nos vió.., porque fue y es nuestro..

el mejor de los tesoros..

porque lo creamos los dos..

I'm writing my life as I live it..

2009-07-02T20:46:00.000-07:00

Now.., I really see how challenges surprise you all of a sudden.., things you wouldn't imagine you will have to deal with.., and yes.., the troubles I've lived never crossed my mind when, some years ago, I used to think about my future..

I keep doing things that scare me though.., I strongly recommend that!
I try not to spend my time on jelousy and I kept all my love letters..
I started to take care of my body..
I dance.., I laugh.., I strecht :)
I have a great bond with my parents I didn't have before..,
and I have friends to hold on, friends that will stay timeless..

Only one thing didn't change:
I still don't know what I will do with my life..
.. and that's good.., cause I want surprises.., I prefer to write my life as I live it.., day by day.., page by page.., it's good for me not to have all my life figured out.., I don't wanna know where I will be tomorrow.., I just wanna know what makes my world goes round.., that's enough..

Feeling this moment is a good one to listen to these advices again..
It has always moved me and everytime I hear it I see another side of it..
I know I will always remember to dance, laugh and stretch..,
to dare to love and to dare to write..

Just.. 'disarming..'

2009-06-09T18:32:00.000-07:00

One of the most amazing and disarming melodies I've heard..,

capable of exalt my very deep and pure emotions..

Vuelvo

2009-06-04T16:14:00.000-07:00

'Vuelvo..,
quiero creer que estoy volviendo..,
con mi peor y mi mejor historia..
conozco este camino de memoria..,
pero igual me sorprendo..

Hay tanto siempre que no llega nunca..,
tanta osadía, tanta paz dispersa,
tanta luz que era sombra y viceversa..,
y tanta vida trunca..

Vuelvo y pido perdón por la tardanza..,
se debe a que hice muchos borradores..,
me quedan dos o tres viejos rencores,
y sólo una confianza..'

Mario Benedetti

Venice, the queen of Italy

2009-05-28T23:33:00.000-07:00

Definitely the queen of Italy..
A city that makes us instantly evoke this sweet and magic country.., a place that makes us evoke Vivaldi, Bellini, Tiziano, Tintoretto and Marco Polo..

I know I didn't get to visit Florence in spring, but certainly Venice was my favorite place..

In the north of Italy, in the coast of Adriatic Sea, we can find one the most attractive and peculiar cities in our planet, that was one of the most important commercial power that has ever existed in the Mediterranean.

Venice traded with the Byzantine Empire and the Muslim world, becoming the most prosperous city in the whole Europe in 13 century, that's when they built all those superb palaces and support the work of the most talented and greatest artists..

What a history from V century!, when Germanic invasions lead some Roman citizens to take refuge in the islands.., its marvelous height and the sad decline, as history repeats..
Now, while I take a walk through the Great Canal, it just doesn't seem to matter how many times Venice was totally devastated.., nothing compares its majestuosity..

And Piazza San Marcos was magic.., standing in the same heart of the Renaissance Venice, I felt I was in another era, living some moments I watch once in a while in movies.., maybe in a fancy party with a superb dress, or in a colossal concert with multiple choruses and instrumental groups..

Maybe it wasn't such a great idea to travel alone to this exceptional place, but timing was not good and I was not sure if I was going to be again so near Venice as I was then..
So, I enjoyed it to the maximum and all I did was painting some memories and images in mind, to share them with you some day.., and maybe, just maybe, I will also have that romantic gondola tour I refused to take this time..

The Great Canal

Venice Lagoon

My moments, pictures and thoughts in Venice

2009-05-28T19:26:00.000-07:00

My father told me Piazza San Marcos was incredibly beautiful, and he wasn't wrong..,

I think here I had one of the greatest moments of my whole trip.., coming back to Renaissance, as I described in my last post..

My moment in Piazza San Marcos

It was so beautiful to be in a city without any roads at all, something totally different for me..
Cars just doesn't exist there and actually gondolas are only for us, romantic turists, cause taxi botes and private botes are the transportation used in everyday basis..

Going in botes through the Great Canal, walking through some of the 400 bridges and passing by some of those 177 small canals that make 118 islands.., I keep thinking it would have been great to have some great company.., but in this moment of my life I can totally use some time alone to think about all what comes: like applying to MC Peru before January 6th, meeting my boyfriend in Rome, trying to get to Ukraine without dying in the attempt, build some LCs there, make my way to Poland and PEACE project.., then Belgium and Netherlands, for mention some..

Yes.., my Venice time was only for me, an even if I missed taking that gondola with someone special, I think it was a sweet and a deep trip on my own..

I know someday I will take that 'romantic gondola or bote', maybe not in Venice but in some other exquisite place.., maybe Turkey, Greece or Thailand, or maybe in Peru.. :)

David Cook's or Chris Cornell's Billie Jean??

2009-05-27T21:06:00.000-07:00

Michael Jackson's 'Billie Jean' was great without a doubt..

I always liked the lyrics and the story behind it.., you know it was real life for Michael Jackson, when a fan claimed he was the father of her son..
Even if I love dance pop, I always felt the lyrics just didn't match the rhythm..

In 2008, Chris Cornell, ex-Soundgarden and ex-Audioslave made a great cover that is in his new disco.
Also David Cook made a great performance on stage during American Idol 2008 competition, and I think that night, with Billie Jean's cover, people started seeing him as the American Idol winner, after that he kept gaining momentum until he beat awesome David Archuleta..

After listening these 2008 new versions, oh my God!!!, how amazing was BILLIE JEAN???, it's like I just discover it and I can't get enough of Billie Jean..
I can't really describe what I feel when I listen to them but it's like a sweet pain in my stomach and a high emotion that takes my breath away during high vocals and amazing arregements..

There's a lot of discussion of which version is the best, or which singer is the best..

So, which one do you like the most?
Chris Cornell's Billie Jean, or David Cook's?

Una de aquellas cosas que me dejó Mario Benedetti

2009-05-18T01:19:00.000-07:00

No te salves

"No te quedes inmóvil al borde del camino,
no congeles el júbilo,
no quieras con desgana,
no te salves ahora ni nunca.
No te salves.

No te llenes de calma,
no reserves del mundo,
sólo un rincón tranquilo,
no dejes caer los párpados
pesados como juicios,
no te quedes sin labios,
no te duermas sin sueño,
no te pienses sin sangre,
no te juzgues sin tiempo.

Pero si, pese a todo, no puedes evitarlo;
y congelas el júbilo,
y quieres con desgana,
y te salvas ahora,
y te llenas de calma,
y reservas del mundo,
sólo un rincón tranquilo,
y dejas caer los párpados
pesados como juicios,
y te secas sin labios,
y te duermes sin sueño,
y te piensas sin sangre,
y te juzgas sin tiempo,
y te quedas inmóvil al borde del camino,
y te salvas;
entonces no te quedes conmigo".

Mario Benedetti
Un luchador, un soñador, un hombre con una sensibilidad y capacidad de amar inigualables,
.. el mundo necesita que te recordemos..
1920 - 2009

PD: Yo te dejo, esta noche de insomnio, de pensamientos desesperados que calmaste con uno de tus poemas, y por supuesto.., una lapicera..

Celeste..

10 cosas que decir a las 5:09am..

2009-04-06T05:09:00.000-07:00

Tuve un sueño y desperté.., no tenía activado mi filtro aún y sentí la necesidad de escribir.., además añadí algunas cosas 'reales'.

1. Me parece muy asertivo decidir NO tomar ninguna decisión en ciertos momentos..
2. Por lo tanto, entiendo y estoy de acuerdo en no pensar, en no hacer nada, y aunque genere incertidumbre, comprendo que debo saber esperar.
3. Si dije que necesito protegerme, es SOLO eso, es subirme en mi montaña rusa...
4. Pero que NO se entienda que estoy rindiéndome, NO es así, me equivoqué cuando dije que no tenía fuerzas para luchar, eso no pasará jamás, aunque lo diga mil veces.., aunque sienta angustia en el estómago y en la garganta.., aunque me caiga una vez más..
5. Tengo tanto en la vida, en todos los niveles, y a diferencia de aquellas montañas rusas que son efímeras y coyunturales, tengo mucha estructura, lo sé porque eso me hace fuerte y capaz de soltar las 'convenciones sociales'. Esa base sólida la iniciaron mis padres y fue el mejor regalo que pude recibir jamás, luego, it was all ME, lo hice yo, e hice un buen trabajo..
6. Sin embargo, no existe la vida 'perfecta', ni la relación 'perfecta' y siempre habrán personas y situaciones que nos 'gusten' más o nos apasionen más. Lo que importa realmente es saber mantener la estructura.
La nuestra?: nuestra conexion innata, nuestra similar visión epistemológica del mundo, nuestra inteligencia emocional, nuestra madurez, y el 'amor'..
7. Con el tiempo, las emociones intensas pasan; con el tiempo, uno se da cuenta de que esas personas 'perfectas, con cualidades admirables que nos envolvían tanto' no siempre son tan reales, estables o constantes en el tiempo, se les acaba la energía generada por la montaña rusa, aparecen los defectos, las inconsistencias, y todos vuelven a necesitar el silencio; todos al final vuelven a ser imperfectos ya que la deseabilidad social es insostenible!, y te queda aquella persona con la que eres real, sin maquillar la personalidad, sin temor a generar caídas desde la nube, cómodo.
8. Qué fácil es estar solo cuando uno está rodeado de estímulos positivos 24x7, pero cómo cambiarán las perspectivas cuando tengamos que afrontar caídas, fracasos y responsabilidades propias del ciclo de la vida, como cuidar de nuestros hermanos y atender a nuestros padres, o dejarlos partir. Cómo dejan de importar las maripositas en el estómago cuando se tiene a alguien que te lee la mente y que será tu mayor pilar en ese tipo de momentos. Y no me engañas ni te engañes, sé que yo soy el tuyo...
9. Vive y disfruta todos tus momentos, que son muchos e intensos, y busca un tiempo suficiente para compartirlos con alguien especial, si no, se perderán de alguna forma..
10. Valora la comprensión y entrégala tu también; yo hoy te quiero regalar mi paciencia y mi madurez. Así, equilibraré mi compañía sutil con ese espacio que necesitas para vivir tu montaña rusa, porque eso es lo que significa una relación..
Y sin querer, hoy encontré otra definición del concepto 'amor': 'saber cuando regalar 'libertad' y saber luchar con el silencio'

'Sometimes when you win, you loose..'

My sixth sense was right..

2009-03-28T17:04:00.000-07:00

Exactly 1 month ago, my sixth sense told me so but I didn't want to listen because it seemed so incredible.., I couldn't believe thoughts or feelings can 'change' that quickly..
Is it a matter of selfishness?
Was that the real reason I didn't travel there??
Is really all around so freaking amazing that makes EVERYTHING ELSE look as the borest thing in the world???
Am I?
No, definitely I'm not!
I don't think it's 'real' if people change values, priorities, feelings, sense of responsibility, likes and dislikes in 1 month, not even in 2..
Is fitting in so important?.., we are not 15 anymore..!

Nevertheless, I understand..
I understand it cause I know the power of vanity, the power of membership and the power of those incentives that make life so new that you just want more and more, as if you don't realize that nothing is 'new' forever, and nothing is freaking amazing forever..

So, my sixth sense was right..
It hurts to feel that right now, trivial things are more certain and more important than deep ones.., when I never asked a choice to be made.., when you can have both.., when I can have both..
Yeah.. it hurts to feel I'm not enough or not that freaking amazing..

But that's it.., that's love..
Cause we all grow up in the process and we all have the right to be selfish, to doubt, to be afraid, to make mistakes, to learn, and to say 'I'm sorry'..
Love isn't always fair for both parts at the same time, and it is a whole package..
Love is to accept that sometimes when you win, you loose..
You'll maybe loose a little part of your freedom; but you win the best reason to smile..
You win a person with whom you'll share your losts, your tears and your successes.., withouth any mask, withouth any repairs..

But how lucky would we be if we can have both!
I think not so many people can say that.., and I totally believe I give that in my relationship, when did we deny each other some freedom?.., we have that, we give each other that great balance.., so.. isn't THAT freaking amazing???

Nobody said it would be easy though..
I discovered that in a crisis we both can not be selfish at the very same time..,
and I understand it's not my turn to be selfish now..,
So I will shut up cause that's my best shot to make my point.. ;)

A night with Marc Anthony..

2009-03-13T02:27:00.000-07:00

From Puerto Rico, with an impressive talent in one of my favorite genders of music, Marc Anthony was here in Lima tonight, with his perfect voice that creates amazingly melodious arrangements..

Me quedó cortísimo su concierto y sentí hervir mi sangre por más.., definitely I can not just listen to his musci, dancing is a MUST!

A pesar de que se esperaba mucho más de este concierto por la presencia de Willie Colón, quien no pudo estar por razones de salud, Marc Anthony, con su sencillez de siempre se ganó al público al decir que trataría de compensar la ausencia de Willie lo mejor que pudiera..

Sí, quizá yo esperaba un concierto de 3 horas donde estos 2 astros cantaran a dúo muchos clásicos y apasionaran a la gente con sus voces..., sin embargo, cuando escuché: 'Valió la pena' se me olvidó todo y lo único que quería era crear una super coreografía para bailar esa canción..

Volví a constatar que 'Te conozco bien' es una de mis favoritas y casi me muero cuando la escuché hacia el final del concierto.., me fascinó el arreglo de piano que escuché en 'Hasta ayer' (que me fascina también) y los timbales de 'Contra la corriente'.., realmente impresionante..; pero extrañé muchísimo la versión salsa de 'Ahora quién'..

Dejo aquí una de mis canciones favoritas y un clásico con la India :)

Percibiendo..

2009-02-28T23:38:00.000-08:00

The ravages of your absence finally went down..
Nevertheless, these days I've been stressed out about some uncertainty on my path..
Today my doubt finished.., but I don't know if I'm happy with the results..

My sixth sense turned on and I know how things are gonna be.., maybe it's time..
Besides my professional life, I felt something else..

Everything is great!, lots of beautiful words and conversations, some offerings of chocolate cake and pasta.., some telephatic sharing, some dancing, support, and cuddle thinking..
Frequency went down but it's just the way it has to be, everything is great..
isn't it?

My sixth sense whispered me with the test results..,
it appeared again when that 'letter' and 'planning' took place..,
it spoke to me when I saw some changes.., but changes are good, right?,
my sixth sense just doesn't want to go away, it's trying to tell me something..
Maybe it's just me and my ghosts.., my fears, my stubbornness to make comparisons..

I think I thought you didn't listen in the same way..,
it wasn't a good moment maybe..,
yes, I understand your world even if I'm angry cause you left me waiting..

Live.., listen.., learn.., grow up.., cry.., forget.., and start again..
Meanwhile, my sixth sense keeps talking to me..

El cuento más corto de Chejov

2009-02-16T16:04:00.000-08:00

Quizá simbolismo más que argumento..
Dentro de mi recorrido por la cultura y literatura rusa, les presento algunos insights de la sociedad de aquel entonces en:

El Album
Anton Chejov
1860 - 1904

El consejero administrativo Craterov, delgado y seco como la flecha del Almirantazgo, avanzó algunos pasos y, dirigiéndose a Serlavis, le dijo:
- Excelencia, constantemente alentados y conmovidos hasta el fondo del corazón por vuestra gran autoridad y paternal solicitud...
- Durante más de 10 años, -le sopló Zacoucine.
- Durante más de 10 años..., en este día memorable, nosotros, vuestros subordinados, ofrecemos a su excelencia, como prueba de respeto y de profunda gratitud, este álbum con nuestros retratos, haciendo votos porque vuestra noble vida se prolongue muchos años y que por largo tiempo aún, hasta la hora de la muerte nos honréis con...
- Vuestras paternales enseñanzas en el camino de la verdad y del progreso, -añadió Zacoucine, enjugándose las gotas de sudor que de pronto le habían invadido la frente.
Se veía que ardía en deseos de tomar la palabra para colocar el discurso que seguramente traía preparado.
- Y que -concluyó- vuestro estandarte siga flotando mucho tiempo aún en la carrera del genio, del trabajo y de la conciencia social.
Por la mejilla izquierda de Serlavis, llena de arrugas, se deslizó una lágrima.
- Señores -dijo con voz temblorosa-, no esperaba yo ésto, no podía imaginar que celebraseis mi modesto jubileo. Estoy emocionado, profundamente emocionado y conservaré el recuerdo de estos instantes hasta la muerte. Creedme, amigos míos, os aseguro que nadie os desea como yo tantas felicidades... Si alguna vez ha habido pequeñas dificultades... ha sido siempre en bien de todos vosotros...
Serlavis, actual consejero de Estado, dio un abrazo a Craterov, consejero de estado administrativo, que no esperaba semejante honor y que palideció de satisfacción. Luego, con el rostro bañado en lágrimas como si le hubiesen arrebatado el precioso álbum en vez de ofrecérselo, hizo un gesto con la mano para indicar que la emoción le impedía hablar. Después, calmándose un poco, dijo unas cuantas palabras más muy afectuosas, estrechó a todos la mano y, en medio del entusiasmo y de sonoras aclamaciones, se instaló en su coche abrumado de bendiciones. Durante el trayecto sintió su pecho invadido de un júbilo desconocido hasta entonces y de nuevo se le saltaron las lágrimas.

En su casa le esperaban nuevas satisfacciones. Su familia, sus amigos y conocidos, le hicieron tal ovación que hubo un momento en que creyó sinceramente haber efectuado grandes servicios a la patria y que hubiese sido una gran desgracia para ella que él no hubiese existido. Durante la comida del jubileo no cesaron los brindis, los discursos, los abrazos y las lágrimas. En fin, que Serlavis no esperaba que sus méritos fuesen premiados tan calurosamente.
- Señores -dijo en el momento de los postres-, hace dos horas he sido indemnizado por todos los sufrimientos que esperan al hombre que se ha puesto al servicio, no ya de la forma ni de la letra, si se me permite expresarlo así, sino del deber. Durante toda mi carrera he sido siempre fiel al principio de que no es el público el que se ha hecho para nosotros, sino nosotros los que estamos hechos para él. Y hoy he recibido la más alta recompensa. Mis subordinados me han ofrecido este álbum que me ha llenado de emoción.
Todos los rostros se inclinaron sobre el álbum para verlo.
- ¡Qué bonito es! -dijo Olga, la hija de Serlavis-. Estoy segura de que no cuesta menos de cincuenta rublos. ¡Oh, es magnífico! ¿Me lo das, papá? Tendré mucho cuidado con él... ¡Es tan bonito!
Después de la comida, Olga se llevó el álbum a su habitación y lo guardó en su secreter.

Al día siguiente arrancó los retratos de los funcionarios tirándolos al suelo y colocó en su lugar los de sus compañeras de pensión. Los uniformes cedieron el sitio a las esclavinas blancas.
Nicolás, el hijo pequeño de su excelencia, recortó los retratos de los funcionarios y pintó sus trajes de rojo. Colocó bigotes en los labios afeitados y barbas oscuras en los mentones imberbes. Cuando no tuvo más que colorear, recortó siluetas y les atravesó los ojos con una aguja, para jugar con ellas a los soldados. Al consejero Craterov lo pegó de pie en una caja de cerillas y lo llevó colocado así al despacho de su padre.
- Papá, mira un monumento
Serlavis se echó a reir, movió la cabeza y, enternecido, dio un sonoro beso en la mejilla a Nicolás.
- Anda pilluelo, enséñaselo a mamá para que lo vea ella también..

Details..

2009-02-15T10:21:00.000-08:00

Some inocent and deep looks in the middle of nature, staring at the clouds..,
some sweet and meaningful kisses..,
really made my day, made me so happy..
You see, I don't need diamonds or expensive gifts..
I'm so happy with a little detail once in a while!
I'm simple.., and so complex at the same time..
I'm so different but I'm still a 'woman'..
San Valentin's day was perfect because of what we share..
Some great memories reminiscences,
an overview of us maybe, anyway, lots of my best memories with you..

http://www.tarjetasbubba.com/postcard/223
http://www.gusanito.com/esp/tarjetas/postales/amor/mis_mejores_momentos/3954

Getting a new soul, un alma rusa..

2009-02-14T23:46:00.000-08:00

Following my New Year resolutions, today, a new soul will start enriching my life.., a russian one.

Today, I have started to learn the russian language..
Cumpliendo lo prometido en mi resoluciones de Año Nuevo, hoy, un alma nueva empezará a enriquecer mi vida, un alma rusa.
Hoy, he empezado a estudiar el idioma ruso..

Hace 3 años fui elegida para trabajar en Recursos Humanos en AIESEC UFA en Rusia, iba a vivir en un país de una historia controversial y una cultura bella y sumamente interesante.., yo vivía en Italia en esas fechas y estaba lista para mudarme pero la embajada de Rusia en Milán no me dio la visa, y con esa decisión, cambió mi rumbo de vida totalmente..
3 years ago, I was selected to work in Human Resources in AIESEC UFA in Rusia, I was to live in a country with a controversial history and beautiful culture, but, the russian embassy in Milan didn't give me the visa and with that decision the path of my life totally changed..

Se dice que en la vida nada sucede porque sí.., y aunque jamás sabré lo que hubiera sido el 2006 en Rusia, fui increíblemente feliz en Ucrania y en Polonia.
Maybe in life nothing happens just because.., and even if I'd never know what it would be 2006 in Rusia, I was incredibly happy in Ukraine and Poland.

Aprenderé a hablar ruso no solamente para suplir ese 'qué hubiera sido si'.., sino porque cuando estuve en Kirovograd y Mikolaiv (Ucrania) realmente me enamoré de ese sonido tan exquisito para mis oídos, y en realidad, me doy cuenta de que NO es ahora que decidí estudiar el idioma, sino aquella tarde de ese día de Enero del 2005..
I will learn russian not only because that 'what if' but because when I was in Kirovograd and Mikolaiv (Ukraine) I fell in love with that sound so exquisite for my ears, and I realize it's not today but that afternoon on that day of January 2005 that I decided to learn the language..

Racionalmente, quiero aprender una lengua eslava, ya que sólo manejo lenguas romances y germánicas.., y qué mejor que la madre de las lenguas eslavas, con la cual podría entender también el ucraniano :)
Racionally, I want to learn an slavic language, cause I only know latin and german languages so which better than the mother of slavic language with which I will understand ucranian as well :)

Tomaré clases particulares, sólo sábados por cuestión de tiempo.., hoy fue la primera!, me encantó! y estoy contentísima con el profesor que me recomendaron, una persona muy culta, agradable y honesta.., cómo es la vida, no?, cada decisión que tomas te trae otras sorpresas, y en este caso, gané también un amigo. Yo recomendaría infinitamente al profesor José Manuel Ballesteros no sólo porque enseña idiomas, historia universal, geografía y actualidad, entre otros, sino porque es un profesor de la vida misma..
I'll take particular classes only saturdays, today was the first and I loved it!, I'm extremaly happy with my professor.., it's amazing how each decision brings other surprises, and in this case, I also will win a good friend.. I'll recommend José Manuel Ballesteros because he teaches languages, history, geography and literature, but mostly because he teaches about life..

Dejo aquí un video como muestra de lo que aprenderé..
Here I leave a russian video as a sample of what I will learn..

Today, I wished time went back..

2009-01-19T08:22:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it's a little too late..,
maybe sometimes you forget you are not alone,
maybe you don't really get what it means to share your everyday with another person,
your 'life moments' with the people you love..
How could you know before?
and you will hurt and be hurted so many times...

We are made to be selfish.., I believe it's a 'good' thing.., yes..
There's a time in your life when you HAVE to be selfish..
but then you start evolving and your priorities change..,
of course you will keep being selfish but as we grow up we have to try..
we are better humans when we try..

Today I wished time went back..
I made a fool of myself and I might hurted someone special..

There's a lot of things I don't like..,
I'm really used to say 'NO' and I always did, no matter what..
I'm NOT a typical vanilla sweet girl, I'm strong in my attitudes, opinions and decisions..,
so saying 'NO' is really easy for me.., don't care about social parameters..
This is one of the most important things to me.., the only part of my freedom you all can see..,
do only what my soul tells me, do only whatever I want..
I hate when people follow others like sheeps..
and I used to think I couldn't hate anything more than this..
But today, I discovered I was wrong.., it just lost all the visceral negative meaning for me..

Cause today, I realized, yesterday I was not alone..
and I just discovered that the thing I hate the most is hurting you..

A holistic view of 2008 and New Year resolutions!

2009-01-03T11:35:00.000-08:00

I feel free right now, after a peaceful new year's eve in a meaningful place..
I expected more 'action & emotions' maybe, but I know that I couldn't ask for more joy in my life, and that cup of tea at 2am made me feel kind of strange with myself..
Muchos sentimientos encontrados, lots of emotions and some doubts, some fears and lots of hopes..

2008 was a year of facing trouble in my professional area, a year from which I learnt incredible things.
For the first time I can really say I know how it is to work under pressure, I know how to work without resources, to work without any help or support, against all odds, and still achive something.., I know now really how it is to fight for what you believe, even if it is a 45 years old manager who is yelling you otherwise. and I'm so proud of that.
I can say I stood up for some things and I can say I refused some others being faithful to myself..
For the first time, I saw what I have to improve, and for the firt time, I tried and couldn't make it in the first attempt..

2008, in my personal life, was a year of decisions and personal discoveries..

For the first time, I had to accept that some of those decisions were not in my hands.., it was very complex to realize what it means to be in a relationship in terms of decisions.., my decisions, your decisions.., but there was something new: we had 'our' decisions..

I think it is the first time for both of us (even if we had another relationships), so it's not easy at all and it involves quite some maturity and growing up.., but we have a good structure and strong confidence for doing this and it makes me happy..

For 2009 I have some resolutions:

To achieve another step in my professional life
To make a complete change on my habits according to a healthy life style
To get a new soul
To water and take care of my relationship
To give a gift to my parents
To get a new heart
To write

Leadership Program in USA.., so very proud..

2008-12-18T22:39:00.000-08:00

December 17th, 2008..
Piero Ponce Falcón was selected for the Leadership Program that will take place in Georgetown University..

He will kill me for publishing this.., but I can't help how proud I am..

I'm proud of you for more reasons than your intelligence.., I admire you for all your qualities and your will to move on.., and I love you for all those weakness you share with me..

These good news were a perfect closure for this year full of joy by your side.., it's gonna be a year since we decided to share something more and I only know I feel happy and peaceful next to you..
Maybe balance took some time to arrive to us..
We thought it would be the same, with just some typical role playing, but we were clueless, right?
We are learning to know each other in a different way and we are increasing even more our sinergy..

I wish you the BEST in Washington!
New experiences, new friends, new problems for you to grow up even more..

I will be with you sharing all those exciting moments and you will be with me through my 'life moments'..

You just told me something really beautiful..,
Yes.., you are one of biggest supports for me too..

We will celebrate this soon, and in June, you will share with me everything you experience there.. until then, a sweet goodbye baby..

Quiero saber si puedes.., quiero saber si eres..

2008-10-28T19:14:00.000-07:00

No me interesa lo que haces para ganarte la vida..
Quiero saber cuál es tu dolor,
y si te atreves a soñar que te permites encontrar lo que tu corazón añora..
Quiero saber si te arriesgarías a parecer un tonto por amor,
por tus sueños, o por la aventura de estar vivo.

No me interesa qué planetas hacen la cuadratura de tu luna..
quiero saber si has tocado el centro de tu propia angustia,
si las traiciones de la vida te han abierto,
o si te has encogido o cerrado por el temor a sentir más dolor..

Sólo quiero saber si puedes sentarte con el dolor, mío y tuyo..,
sin moverte para esconderlo o para resolverlo.
Quiero saber si puedes estar con el placer, mío y tuyo..,
si puedes danzar salvajemente y dejar que el éxtasis te llene hastas las yemas de los dedos,
sin advertirte a tí mismo que debes tener cuidado y ser realista,
ni recordarte las limitaciones de ser humano..

No me interesa si es verdadera la historia que me cuentas..
Quiero saber si puedes soportar la acusación de ser un traidor sin traicionar tu alma..
Quiero saber si puedes ponerte de pie, después de haber abrazado una noche de dolor y desesperanza, agotado y golpeado hasta los huesos, y aún así ser capaz de perdonar..

Sólo quiero saber si puedes percibir la belleza aún cuando no todo es bello,
y si puedes encontra la fuente de tu vida en la esencia de él o ella.
Quiero saber si puedes vivir con el fracaso, tuyo y mío, y a pesar de ello pararte a la orilla del mar y gritar a la luna que volverás a empezar..

No me interesa quién eres ni cómo llegaste aquí..
Quiero saber si permanecerías conmigo en el centro del fuego sin echarte para atrás..
Quiero saber si te agrada verdaderamente la compañía que buscas en tus momentos vacíos..
Quiero saber qué es lo que sostiene desde adentro cuando todo lo demás falla..

From 'Oriah' and a little 'me'

American Idol's 2 winners: David Cook & David Archuleta..

2008-05-08T13:34:00.000-07:00

I know American Idol can't have 2 winners.., but I can't decide..
Both of them have amazing vocals..
I think David Cook is brilliant with arragements and creativity!, I always like his versions way more than originals, like this cover he made of Mariah Carey's 'Always be my baby'.
David Archuleta is also brilliant transmiting deep and sweet feelings, and his charisma is just unique.., I've always like Collins' Another day in paradise but I've never really sense it like it did now.., maybe I was not paying attention..

David Cook or David Archuleta..!

2008-05-07T10:22:00.000-07:00

David Archuleta maybe is the “one to beat” in this American Idol season.., but David Cook just keep gaining momentum each week..

Some people say no one saw him coming, but.., I remember Cook's audition with 'Living on a prayer' and it was awesome, I even like more his version than Bon Jovi's..

So David Archuleta or David Cook?
Season 7 is about to end and I love them both.., they are so different though..

While the first one makes tears come to my eyes.., the other one makes my heart goes really fast until I feel I can't breath of the emotion.., so.. I don't know..
I kind of wish they were on different seasons, so they don't have to compete against each other.., actually, they can't compete.., they are too different..

Ayacucho, Peru - City of souls

2008-01-07T19:41:00.000-08:00

I spent New Year's in Ayacucho, Peru.., and I came back with lots of memories and great moments lived..

It was my first time there but, unexpectedly, I will come back many times more because, somehow, Ayacucho has become a second home for me from now on..

With this new year, I have some news in my personal life..
I'm not quite sure about the implications and of course I'm kind of scared of how to handle it.., but I'm excited and very happy with this new situation and this beautiful way to start this year..

I enjoyed the city! and loved to be in contac with nature and be able to see things from another perspective, the simplicity of some things and the mystic of others..
My small vacations in the city of souls and churches made me think about my dreams and plans for life.., very soon I will take another step in my professional life and, little by little, I'm following my goals.., maybe to share it with an special personal was just the thing I needed.., and of course I'm also happy to see your dreams coming true..

For all my friends, you are invited to Ayacucho any time ;)

Some memories of my first visit to Ayacucho - Peru

Ayacucho - Mi nuevo rincón de almas

2008-01-05T21:21:00.000-08:00

No había tenido antes la oportunidad o quizá el interés de conocer este departamento del Perú..
Llegué a Huamanga, capital de Ayacucho, por motivos más relevantes que el mismo turismo, en busca de un Año Nuevo diferente, agradable y significativo..

El paisaje me pareció precioso y disfrute muchísimo de la sencillez y la calidez del lugar, ese calorcito de la tierra, la convivencia con la naturaleza y lo místico de este rincón de almas..
Disfruté la vista de amplias quebradas, de lo bello de esas tonalidades de verde natural, observé sorprendentes trabajos manuales, aprendí de donde viene la piedra de Humanga, conversé con muchos animalitos y ellos sonreían..
Sin querer, también recibí bellas clases de historia y amé aquellos momentos, justo antes de que empezara a llover, caminando sobre aquel puente..

La presencia de grupos humanos en la zona data desde hace 20,000 años A.C. Posteriormente, después del imperio Wari y la Confederación Chanca, los incas conquistaron Ayacucho erigiendo su centro en la zona de Vilcashuamán. Recién en 1539, Pizarro fundó la ciudad de Ayacucho, ésta fue construida con fines estratégicos pues limitaba con los territorios dominados por los incas rebeldes de Vilcabamba. A la derrota de estos últimos, Ayacucho adquirió importancia económica y cultural, fue sede del arzobispado y contaba con una vasta industria textil y una universidad, por lo cual fue una de las ciudades más importantes del virreynato.

Aprendí mucho más en realidad, pero son aquellas cosas simples de la vida las que me hacen feliz.., y el haber entendido algo más esta vez es más de lo hubiera pedido.., por eso estos momentos vivídos han sido inolvidables y los que vengan lo serán también.., pronto volveré por estos lares y conoceré más, y viviré más..

I'm free again..

2007-10-01T19:56:00.000-07:00

I lived without it for a while.., for quite some time actually..
... very conscious of it.., but without anything I could do..
I realized then.. that it's not enough..
It's not enough to know, it's not enough to be able to.., to be able to conect with nature..

My mind tried hard to scape..,
she tried to go very far away, to unknown places beyond physics..
... I've always thought it was totally possible for people like me..
.. but it wasn't..
She had no water..
.. how could she go so far without water???
so.., she stayed and wait..
... and I lost my freedom..

Time went by..
I got water now.., and now I know what is really necessary and what is not..
I will thank for those necessary things everyday..
Cause I'm free again.., I'm alive again...

That's why I can say I will be happy just because I CHOSE my life..
Not all people can say that.., and some people just don't know if there's a difference..

But freedom has a high price.., indeed..
Through my short path I hurted some people I love.., I made mistakes when finding my way.., I lost something I still miss cause I took a decision.., I got hurted of course, many times.., and all these will continue happening..

"La libertad tiene un precio alto.., tan alto como el precio de la esclavitud.."

I'm proud of all my scars.., and I'm happily paying the price, with a smile, even more when tears come across..
I made changes.., I didn't stay there..
Now I'm living pushing my limits.., challenging physics.., trying to get to more unkown places..,
.. today.., I visited another one..

The first layer of my philosophy

2007-08-02T23:23:00.000-07:00

I grew up thinking that the most important in "my" world was to be faithful with myself.., no matter what.., and that means a lot actually.., more than I thought then..

It was, and it is.., a fight with the "a priori ways" we all have for protecting our conscious mind, who can't stand all our emotions, fears, desires and feelings..

I think I started fighting my "ego defense mechanisms" since I was conscious I "am"..
Never liked to be blinded by those mechanisms.. so, without noticing, I was learning to be "awake".., to feel everything.., even the most powerful desires as killing and lust..

Since I remember, I tried to embrace everything I felt and all my dreams as reality.., without any guilt, without any shame..

I think that's why I can shout my heart's longings without any shame and without caring what people think..
That's why I can be in the center of my own deep sorrow and sit there, quiet and still.., without doing anything to hide it or make it disappear.., enjoying it instead!.., without closing my soul or my heart because of it...

That's why I can dance..

That's why I have disappointed others in order to be loyal to myself..
.. and I'll keep doing it..

That's why I can live failures, problems, heart breakings, pains, betrayals, death, and still shout to the universe: I LOVE BEING ALIVE..!!
That's why I like my own company and..,
.. that's why this layer of my philosophy holds me from inside..

Posts related:
Some years ago..
My reasons

Some years ago..

2007-07-29T19:07:00.000-07:00

Several years ago.., I discovered one of the layers of my philosophy..., maybe the most important one..

I really don't remember how was the process of discovering it...
I was very young.., way too young maybe..
My childhood was totally tainted with philosophy thoughts and I couldn't connect with anybody for a long time.., I never played with my 10 year old classmates.., I never watched all those TV series for children.., I never understood how to play with dolls.., instead of that, I spent my days reading for hours and making puzzles.., thinking about my place in the world.., talking to souls.., exploring why people around me said that God exist.., and trying to understand WHY my classmates were too interested in subjects that were so silly and shallow for me..

I'm a psychologist now.., kind of obvious?
Not at all I must say...

Actually, Psychology was my 5th choice.. after Philosophy, Art, Criminology, Literature, and going totally nuts.. :)

Finally, when I was 16, I was able to increase a little bit my adaptation to the "real" world and to the working world.., so.. with that in mind, I made my choice..

Now, as a Psychologist and as an "almost" adult person, I ask myself if "my philosophy world" was 'good' for a girl at that early age.., it brought me some problems, family ones and social ones..

At some point it got better and now it is almost calm..

But even with all those problems.., and even if now I have to accept that I still don't quite connect with the majority of people.., for me it was all worthed.., cause without that, I wouldn't have been the person I am now..

I think I'm still kind of weird ;) but so HAPPY with myself!, and with the people I DO connect with..

So.. what was my first layer of my life philosophy???

Underneath the magic of Elsa & Fred

2007-04-21T11:30:00.000-07:00

"Life is measured by the number of moments that take your breath away"..

An idea I've always lived with.., my ulterior philosophy and a way to die feeling 'happy'..

"Elsa & Fred"

A film by Marcos Carnevale
With the extraordinary China Zorrila and Manuel Alexandre, in probably, one of their best performance, according to critics.

Incredibly beautiful Lito Vitale's original score that made me feel I couln't stand more emotions in my body..
Listening to the music after seeing the movie has become painfully GOOD!
Listen to it here!

An excellent movie, just added to my favorites because of the huge spectrum of colors that have taken me to very high emotions.., because it gives a life lesson in a simple, sutil but deep way, complementing with the most 'real' of human non-verbal language.

An admirable Director's work, from my point of view, because I think one has to be brave and also really really good to be able to work on this 'repeated' theme, showing on screen 'just' 2 people falling in love, BUT making it different, overwhelming and getting such a big connection with public..

A solid script, with simple structure but very deep, with good taste and delicate sense of humor, and with a majestic performance of leading actors..

My angel brought to me this movie..
..on a time as perfect as magic, when everything in my life is changing and evolving into an abstract 'form' I haven't recognized yet but have started to love already..

Definitely, one of the sweetest movies I've ever seen..
and probably the one that shows better that life is measured by the number of moments that take your breath away.., even if it happens at the end of your path..

Sinopsis and critics in spanish here

Today.., Adhamiya Wall began..

2007-04-10T20:17:00.000-07:00

Today..,
I imagine how people in the other side of the world is feeling, concerning one specific event..
But certainly, I can not imagine..

Today..,
the construction of Adhamiya Wall began...
5km of concrete structure around Sunni enclave, near Tigris river..
'Non-permanent'.. they say..

A barrier that makes "sound security sense" to break the cycle of sectarian violence and protect Adhamiya neighbourhood from Sunni-Shia violence.., they say..

Meanwhile.., multiple bombs seem to increase.., and people is in shock.., as it was the first time Baghdad is hit in the already 4 years of Iraq's anti-US insurgency..
But "security" increases!!!.., they say..
Up to 750 bodyguards per minister in some cases.., how ironic!

It seems 80,000 troops are not solving the real problem.., I say..

I've been asking myself...

Do people really believe they can create pockets of security where political leaders will manage to move foward reconciliation strategies??
When it's more than known that if people feel threatened and the parlament has been blown up, the natural and human reaction won't be as asertive as needed.., so how will they be able to move those important political reconciliations initiatives?

It's just trying to solve the problem in the middle of chaos..

But other 'walls' are coming...

... and somehow I have the feeling that.., one of these days, we will see with despair, the Green Zone being hit in what will be one of the worst and deadly attempts in our contemporary History.

Recommended books:
Imperial Life in the Emerald City by Rajiv Chandrasekaran
Life in the Green Zone

My bedroom has changed this Monday

2007-02-26T17:18:00.000-08:00

When I thought about the "first Monday".., I knew it was gonna be weird, grey and sad..

.. But I had NO idea how much it would hurt..

Here I am.., feeling like I'm in the middle of nothing..
Looking desperately for the smile of my eyes, and asking my dancing desires and my libido: 'till when are you gonna hide?

How empty this Monday evening can be?!!!
.. and the weekend was only better cause I had the challenge to convince my family I was still ME..
I didn't know I was gonna leave that much..
I've felt this sensation before.., and I know it always goes away, after a while..

But this is the FIRST time I feel MY BEDROOM empty..
This sensation is totally new and feels so much worst..
Yes.., it will also go away.., but I won't hurry up.., cause I need to discover its meaning..

I'm still totally amazed to realize I'm feeling something so new in something so old..
So amazed to realize how many things I found in my past..
.. a past that will be always perfect to shape my future..

In the meantime.., I will hug my sadness and enjoy it.., with my cat and my music that always find the perfect mood for each moment and for how I feel..

'Hoy quisiera detener el tiempo.., la distancia entre los dos..'
'Soy fragilidad sin tí.. '
'Son las cosas de la vida.., que nos quedan por vivir..'

Duele el amor
Alex Syntek & Ana Torroja

EGYPT by "Celeste"

2007-02-01T20:46:00.000-08:00

I have already 1 week here.., and my happiness is telling me "she" wants to freeze time and shine a bit more inside me.., discovering what is this thing that makes her so true..

EGYPT!.., one of the most visited countries in the world.., and a "MUST" for those who love turism, culture and history..

The political and cultural center that leads the Middle East.., the most populous country in Africa (after Nigeria of course).., the country that has in its territory the Giza Pyramids, the Great Sphinx, the Tomb of Tutankhamun, the Valley of the Kings, the longest river in the world, The Nile River.., impressive monuments and ancient history..

Maybe nowadays, Egypt is a top destination just because is "Egypt".., but, for those who do know.., this place is attractive for being one of the most overwhelming and one of the first civilizations in the history of humanity that still holds some unsolved questions..

Besides that.., for me at least, is one of the countries that sadly represents the human fight for power.., that human desire for owning tangible things that give wealth, "status" and power...
As you know, the Nile Valley has generated fights since at least the Paleolithic era! and Egypt was owned for several "kingdoms", since the Persians, the Greeks and the Romans, until the Frenchs and Britains.., passing through the Muslim Arabs and the Ottoman Turks, as a really brief example of a history of Wars for Power..
And even since Egyptian Republic was declared in 1953, the efforts for taking down the goverment continued, and the Suez Canal and the Sinai have been reasons of war with France, United Kingdom and Israel, bringing death and barriers for development.

A place where the calls for praying are heard 5 times a day cause it is one of the Pillars of Islam.., a country 90% muslim where they all know it means 'submission to God'.., and this meaning changes everything for us, skeptic ones, but shapes everything for them..
A place where extreme Islamic Fundamentalism exists, but at the same time, a country that is evolving and fighting against it, even if it has brought some attacks to the major source of income: Turism..

... Suddenly...
I look at myself standing up inside a culture demonstration that, even if totally different, teaches me again that..:

A human being is not made by his religion, his belongings or the longest river, cause we are all just a wonderful second in the universe with a brain, senses, dreams and fears..

And I see again.. that concepts are only concepts.., and people feelings are the same in every spot you happen to be..

It doesn't feel like Egypt...

2007-01-26T20:12:00.000-08:00

The day before yesterday I was in a plane for 19 hours...

But I feel like I didn't move..

Yesterday.., I slept in my bed..

Today.., I woke up at home and talked to myself as usual, but this time somebody was listening..

I ate a different kind of bread and felt cold in a different way.., but when I stood up in the balcony of that 23rd floor I couldn't see The Nile nor the Pyramids..

My mind got control over my senses and all I could see and feel was the most beautiful of my life routines..
And my eyes stopped to admire how my imagination and proyections were more than right, even that perfect moment when making the bed I smiled at you..

So that was my first impression of CAIRO..

Even if the culture, the streets, the Nile, the Pyramids or the history of Egypt are surrounding me, it doesn't feel like Egypt.. it feels like home..

I didn't go out that Friday cause today is AI applications' deadline.., but I enjoyed the apartment as crazy..
I'm thinking right now about how I'm feeling.., sitting in my living room, alone only for 15 minutes.., and totally breaking my previous thought that Egypt is supposed to be hot.. :)

Seeing my reflection and loosing myself in the surreal dream I'm afraid to break if I breath stronger..

Here is the amazing view from that 23rd floor..,
Maybe you all can see what I couldn't that first day..

The Pyramids after the Nile, after 'Maadi', after that balcony..

Tomorrow.. AFRICA!

2007-01-23T23:03:00.000-08:00

The first time I thought about this crazy thing I'm gonna do tomorrow was THAT time in Switzerland.., 1 year and a half ago!

I was traveling around one of the most expensive countries in the world.., having the LUCK to be hosted by a friend.., I was happy to be traveling around the whole Switzerland., but not so happy with my life at that time...
I was feeling lonely, like I didn't fit..
I was really trying to escape from the reality of Italy, but instead, I felt even more that things were not right in Brescia and I was scared about my next step..
Actually, besides beautiful Switzerland and meeting Carissa, one of the things that 'saved' me was THAT moment when I decided to go Africa..

I've been wanting this for 1 year and a half.., I planned it in my mind for 2006.., but lots of things and places were also expecting me so it wasn't possible last year..

Anyway, I believe that if you truly truly want something, you just have to decide it, cause the biggest dreams happen when you plan them..
I decided I wanted this.., so I made it happen!, and tomorrow, I will catch a plane to AFRICA.., not to Cameroon this time, but to Egypt!
Where I'll find something I don't need to look for.., but something I don't wanna loose as I realized I can't stand being so long without it..

Sitting over Cameroon, the moment I decided.. 15/09/05

Global Warming tainted with politics?

2007-01-11T23:30:00.000-08:00

..and reality tells me.. which world-mater theme isn't?

An inconvenient truth..

2007-01-07T17:10:00.000-08:00

"..INTELLECTUALLY EXHILARATING.. 'An unconvenient truth' is a necessary film"

A.O. Scott. THE NEW YORK TIMES

"A sad 'coming soon'?.., a convenient interpretation for political publicity?.., or both??"
E.C.B. CELESTE'S BLOG

I just saw the Academic Award-winning documental about the state of Global Warming.., an even if I accept that Al Gore commited certain mistakes, this is a subject that actually matters to me like few others do.., maybe because of my particular fears, or my care for animals.., or because "destruction" is a theme that has always "worried" me in a "neurotic and strange" way..

Directed by David Guggenheim and presented by former United States Vice President Al Gore:

DESTRUCTION.. isn't this word scary??

Have you ever thought if we are really sitting on a ticking time bomb?
Maybe yes.., but how many of you have, as an obvious consolation, the fact that we are not going to be here then?..

Well, from a mind that really loves life and has recently DISCOVERED how it is to love and admire your country and your world (thing that I didn't realize before), Global Warming, if true, becomes a huge state of alert..
Because, even if sometimes I live in "other world", I can't believe how amazing animals are.., how beautiful the moon or a flower can be.., how much calm the rain can bring with its sweet nostalgy.., how powerful the smile of a person you love can be.., and how love can make this world go round..
I can go on and on with how amazed I am with our world.. I just don't want to imagine destruction..

The title for this film seems to me so "convenient"...
Although it refers to a passage from the famous book 'Democracy in America', another thing comes to my mind, as I was talking the other day with a friend in terms of what's convenient or not for us..
People decisions are based on that, even when we don't notice it directly..
So, if the majority of people think Global Warming is caused by humanity, how come we arrived to this point?.. theory of immediate satisfaction!!

.. but this is a subject for another day.. or another post..

Planetary emergency or natural cicle?

2006-12-02T21:18:00.000-08:00

The year is about to end in less than a month.., and as usual, I was trying to see again in my mind all those things that happened this year in the world.., some of them not too good..

I stopped in a subject that seems to be the favorite topic for scientists, politicians, religious fans, and also for "thinking" people like you and me..

From BBC motion gallery, I bring here this video about Global Warming:

But this "tragic" scenario leads me to several questions:
Is Global Warming overplayed?
Carbon dioxide is really related to temperature?
Is Global Warming a natural occurrence? or is it really human fault?
Actually, as a non-scientist person I'm kind of confused..

Some scientists say that Global Warming is an undeniable fact and the result of human activities that have dramatically increased the amount of CO2 in the Earth's atmosphere rising the temperature.., they say we have only about 10 years to avert glaciers melting, floods, droughts, epidemics, extreme weather, animal extinction, killer heat waves, and suming up, a major catastrophe that could destroy our entire planet.

From other perspective, some researches have been focused on observing cicles of climate changes over the past 15,000 years finding a recurrent and predictable pattern that actually shows that a 30 year cooling cicle is about to start, against IPCC predictions!!
But the most interesting thing those investigations say is that CO2 is NOT the cause of global warming.
That there has been several times in the past 15,000 years where the temperature got far so much higher than it is now without CO2 changes, or otherwise, an important raise of CO2 with a colder temperature.
Actually, Professor Don Easterbrook from Washington University says that, only in the last 30 years, higher CO2 and high temperature are happening at the same time, which would leave CO2 out of statistical relation with global warming.

Investigation continues I guess.. but in the meantime, my logic tells me that it's impossible that human actions that increase CO2 in the atmosphere have nothing to do with global warming..
I really think we are, little by little, destroying life on Earth.., maybe I can not tell exactly how, but I do believe we are contaminating Earth.. and that's reason enough to worry..

My DNA profile

2006-11-19T19:39:00.000-08:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Check it with what you know about me ;)

My DNA profile says the following about myself..

MOOD: Wild cat

"You are drawn to the drama of a big spectacle and appreciate the unpredictability of nature. You like life rugged and rough round the edges but also crave relaxation.
Totally unconventional.. Always the first to take the leap, trying not to look back or have regrets. You like to take the plunge and see as much as you can.., this attitude gives you a wealth of experience..
Confident and brave, you love to take risks and push limits".

HABITS: High time roler

"You can never get enough affection and attention.. a bit of a one track mind, some might say, while you like to think you are a devil in the sack.. less talk, more action!
Your taste for you environment is cool, contemporary and stylish as you are".

LOVE: Touchy feely

"You are real, very romantic and a bit of a dreamer.. you show your feelings in simple ways every day and you are full of tenderness.., your heart is right there on your sleeve.
When you think of freedom, you think of stripping off and getting back to nature.. you are comfortable with yourself and happy to make the first leap".

Something true? ;)

What a nice way to do some hueving around while thinking about how you are and what you want in life..

My last night in Europe :)

2006-04-11T19:28:00.000-07:00

Holanda

2006-04-10T21:56:00.000-07:00

Bruselas

2006-04-08T23:55:00.000-07:00

Tra te e il mare a Venezia

2005-12-29T03:49:00.000-08:00

Almost without sleeping since monday 26 because of all the travel arrangements I wrote in the last post, I finally arrived to Venice..
Got the visas!!!!!!! and even if I almost die pulling around Paris all my 'one year' luggage, everything is on track..
Cheap flights not always land in the 'popular city', so I arrived to Venice at 10pm and it was very difficult to find a cheap hostal or B&B.., I had to keep carrying my bags around for 2 hours until I found something I could afford (35 euros), it was midnight!..

I was death.. but I couldn't waste this night!, my father told me Piazza San Marcos is beautiful at night and I wanted to take some pictures for him.. cause tomorrow night I will be in a train already.., so, I took my Ipod and I start walking.., suddenly, a song trapped me and you got into my mind..
After an hour walking I found a bote still working and I jumped in.., it was so strange and so beautiful, everything was dark, no people around, no movement.., Oh my God!, it seems like a ghost town, I loved it!, 2am.., totally alone in Piazza San Marcos, it was totally worthed and I thought a lot about my family..

I took some pictures for my father.. and I started my walk back..

This song doesn't want to let me go, and I know it has a reason..
It's just the moment for this song.., and as much as I love Laura Pausini, tonight, this song has been my travel partner and my closure, in some way..
It's 3:29am, and with 2005 almost ending, I think I will finally let this history to end..
"Con l'istinto di chi sa' amare.., 'preferisco dirti addio"

Tra te e il mare

Challenges: efforts, courage and sacrifices..

2005-12-27T12:46:00.000-08:00

I have several challenges to confront now.., not everything is sweet..

So, in order to make it to AIESEC Ukraine, I have to tramit 2 visas, make a lot of efforts and make some sacrifices.

I need to tramit here in Paris the visas for Ukraine and Poland, outside Paris will be impossible. If something goes wrong I'm totally ruined..!
Ukraine is NOT a popular destination and direct fligths tickets are beyond what I can afford right now.., I didn't think of that when I applied to this job!, but.. God bless Ryanair.com!, besides, I am now really good organizing travel's detail and cheap flights connections.
I don't have too much time but I'm very proud of myself cause somehow I manage to connect every place I wanted and still be able to spend new year with my boyfriend in Napoli and Rome before departing to Ukraine..

So, after hours of work and hard calculations, tickets are bought and here I present you my itinerary for the next 12 days. If just one of the next things goes wrong or I miss a plane or train, everything will fall.., what a pressure!!:

December 28 (early morning) - Tourin / Paris
December 28 (morning) - Pick up Poland visa
December 28 (noon) - Pick up Ukraine visa
December 28 (afternoon) - Flight Paris - Venice
December 29 (night) - Train Venice - Brescia
December 30 (night) - Train Brescia - Napoli
January 6 (night) - Train Napoli - Rome
January 9 (early morning) Flight Rome - Frankfurt
January 9 (night) Flight Frankfurt - Rzeszów (Poland)
January 9 (midnight) Train or whatever to Lviv or Kiev in Ukraine

(I still can't believe all my connections after Rome, 2 flights and 1 train, are so so so much cheaper than taking a direct flight Rome - Kiev!!!! well, the world is crazy..)

If everything goes well I will be on January 10th in Ukraine, ready to start my job!
I have to admit I'm scared.., but I feel ALIVE.., it's so intense...

Tomorrow I will leave Tourin at 6am in order to arrive to Paris at 10am, there I have to take a lot of metros and run between 2 embassies for getting my visas before 2pm, when I have to run to the bus stop before 3pm to take a 3 hours bus to the airport for taking my flight to Venice at 6pm!

Again.. I'm scared.., what if I don't get both visas?, what if I loose the plane?
Ok, I can't be nervous.., I have a nice plan so I just have to stick to it and be organized..

Tomorrow I will leave France..,
tomorrow maybe I won't have the time I need to turn my head back and admire one last time this place.., so.., now and here, in the middle of a 'perfect moment' full of fear, courage and illusions..,
I say goodbye to France..

I won't have any 'what if' in my life..

2005-12-25T16:35:00.000-08:00

All this time trying to find peace..,
all this time looking for a place to live and a job to survive..,
but YOU came along..,
and you know I can't stop being fool for love..

This time the risk will be totally my fault..,
and I'm not surprised to know that I will do it..,
I will certainly watch myself jumping into that risk..

Why did you appear in my life??, why now???, and why from so far?
it's NOT a good timing and it's NOT a good moment for me..,
cause I've developed some needs and if you cover them now, I will fall in love..
I'm getting there.., at least I have all the symptoms..

In the meantime, and as usual.., I don't care..
I know I will take that plane..,
and I will only know in some days..,
.. in some days, when I find myself in THAT situation or in a beautiful dream instead..
What a crazy thing to do!,
putting in risk my house, my security, my basic needs..,
what a dreamer or how stupid.. :)
But it has an logical and philosophycal explanation in my way to see life:
NEVER keep a "what if" in you mind..
I could never forgive myself if I do that.., so I take the risk..,
cause is better have something to regret.., than regret for not doing anything..

Navidad con mi familia, como siempre..

2005-12-24T23:53:00.000-08:00

Acá, el principal día de Navidad es el 25.., NO el 24 en la noche como en Perú..

Cada año valoro más la Navidad con mi familia.., definitivamente, hace unos años que vengo cambiando mi orden de prioridades y mi escala de valores.., y el proceso seguirá seguramente.., mientras tanto, estoy contenta con cómo he evolucionado estos últimos 3 años..

Hoy extrañe a mi familia mucho más que otros días.., la risa de mi hermanito, los cuidados de mi mamá, el interés de mi papá porque todos estemos bien y tengamos lo mejor, y lo riquísimo que cocina..
Mi mamá no compró puré de manzanas este año.., solo ella y yo lo comíamos.., pero todo lo demás será como todos los años.., mientras yo comeré caracoles, langosta y paté de pato para Navidad..
Me doy cuenta que no tenemos fotos todos juntos...

Lo último que extraño de Peru es la comida.., hay taantas cosas que extrañar que la comida no es la principal.., sin embargo HOY quería pavo, arroz, puré de manzana, el chocolate de mi mamá y panetón con mantequilla como me daba Carlitos en su casa tantas veces..

Finalmente, estoy pasando MI navidad con mi familia.., en Perú es super temprano, las 6pm y aún no empieza la noche, mi papá está aún en su cuarto con mi gato que duerme en su pecho, mi mamá ya cambiándose, mi hermanito esta conmigo en msn y me pone música para que yo cante.., dice que le gusta escucharme.., el pavo se está horneando donde la borracha.., y mis tías ya están en camino, podré hablar con ellas también por msn y se pondrán muy contentas.., tengo también a algunos de mis mejores amigos pasando Navidad conmigo..

Así que, es una bonita Navidad..,
diferente pero igual,
con mi familia.., como siempre..

Christmas in France!

2005-12-22T15:41:00.000-08:00

Ironía?, casualidad?, todo cae por su propio peso..

En mi futuro proyectado, en estas fechas yo pertenecía a Italia, pero lanzé un conjuro y cambié mi destino.., y después de MIL travesías acá estoy.., en la soñada París..

No creo que sea mala estrategia salir de la línea de Gestión de Talento para hacer Auditoría de Calidad en AIESEC ESIEA.., tampoco me caerá mal una Navidad diferente en Tours.., a pesar de que la cuisine planteada no sea mi favorita.. ;)

Sólo no quería dejar pasar esta fecha sin recordarlos...

Después de haber caminado por distintos lugares, llevando AIESEC PERU en alto y dejando un poquito de mi esencia en cada país, me doy cuenta de que son muchas las veces en que me detengo y pienso en ustedes.., en todo mi CLUL y en cómo trasmitirles que lo que estoy viviendo acá está en las manos de todo aieseco.

DESDE DE PARIS...!
FELIZ NAVIDAD a todos aquellos que tengo tan lejos y que extraño tanto.. y mil besos a mi familia, los llevo todos los días en mi mente..

Más emociones: Cambio de 180 grados!!!

2005-11-29T09:04:00.000-08:00

Today I'm taking a plane to PARIS!!!!

Me parece todo tan surreal..

Las complicaciones que tenemos los peruanos para sacar visas quizá me costaron esta vez la consecusión de mis planes.., yo tendría que haber estado en Rusia para quincena de Noviembre y las semanas siguen pasando.., mientras la embajada me sigue diciendo que necesito más papeles.., fueron cada vez menos amables y me di cuenta de que no me la darían..

Mi sexto sentido me decía que siguiera moviéndome y afortunadamente lo escuché ya que hace 2 días me confirmaron un trabajo en Paris.., en el LC EISEA, trabajando en Análisis de Calidad de Xs!

Jamás sabré lo que hubiera sido Rusia.., lo que hubiera sido trabajar en el LC UFA y vivir esa cultura cerca de las montañas urales.., sin embargo, estoy contenta porque tengo un nuevo destino, un nuevo reto y la satisfacción de demostrarme a mí misma que puedo conseguir cosas buenas por mi esfuerzo, mi experiencia y mi perfil..

No me han faltado las oportunidades acá y eso se lo debo a AIESEC.., todo lo que he puesto en práctica NO lo aprendí en un salón de clases, lo aprendí en AIESEC..; aproveché al máximo todas las oportunidades de aprendizaje que me dio y ahora veo los resultados.., porque definitivamente.. 'it's up to you..'

HP cubrió los daños de mi laptop y me la enviaron hace 3 días con un disco duro nuevo, mi alma volvió a mi cuerpo y ahora sí puedo irme tranquila.., aunque de pronto, siento que se está consolidando una razón diferente que me une a Italia, una razón bella, fuerte y avasalladora que me hace dudar, que me hace detenerme a soñar despierta que estaremos juntos pronto..

AIESEC en PARIS coordinó todo de manera excelente y rápida así que, compré el pasaje inmediatamente lanzándome de lleno a esta nueva aventura que no hubiera sido posible tampoco sin la ayuda de mi mamá y mis buenos amigos..
Hoy dejo ISU, con cierta nostalgia por el cariño que le tome a este edificio y las personas que conocí en él.., un hasta pronto a mi querida amiga Giusy y me llevo mi vida dentro de aquellas 4 piezas de equipaje..

29 de Noviembre del 2005, 3pm
Despidiéndome de mi amiga Giusy antes de salir al aeropuerto..

Is there a hide reason for all this?

2005-11-22T12:55:00.000-08:00

Quiero estados mentales!

2005-11-14T21:51:00.000-08:00

Hay cosas que no se pueden compartir estando tan lejos.., sensaciones.., miradas.., estados mentales..

No me basta con hechos y acciones.., quiero estados mentales!

Pido mucho quizá para personas que intentan ser prácticas..., anyway, esto es algo que se esperaba.., no todos somos iguales..

.. It is not how sweet little papers said...

No tiene que ver con el tiempo real.., tiene que ver con entender la importancia de detenerse a observar y observarse..

Sin embargo, el tiempo 'real' es real.., y siempre peligrarán nuestras almas ante la velocidad con la que gira el mundo..

There isn't such a thing as "time"
... el tiempo se crea cuando uno valora algo...
... es cuestión de elecciones...
Mirar atrás un SOLO día es una cosa..,
mirar atrás toda una vida es otra...

No me sorprende entonces el número infinito de almas que jamás se encontraron a sí mismas.

Qué tristeza imaginar esos ojos, finalmente mirando hacia atrás un día, y sólo encontrando imágenes borrosas, decisiones sin sentido y consecuencias esparcidas...

Puedes acelerar tus pasos.., pero recuerda que si te pierdes, puedes perderte para siempre, o demorarte una vida en regresar..

Qué bello es mirar atrás al final del día...
.. pero qué triste es mirar atrás sólo al final de toda una vida...

Vainilla o chocolate: Mi choque cultural?

2005-09-24T23:47:00.000-07:00

September was supposed to be different, was gonna bring the 'real' life I trusted..
I don't see it.., and September will be over soon..
It's not only that I didn't meet my expectations, it's more complicated than that.., it's about world's perspectives...

Me sorprende mucho sólo haber tenido 1 reunión de equipo.., sé que muchos viven fuera de la ciudad y que en época de vacaciones todo se detiene por aquí.., es tan diferente a AIESEC PERU donde en vacaciones y feriados es cuando MAS se trabaja y se aprovecha para las típicas amanecidas que unen tanto al equipo..

Me sorprende aún más la decisión de planificar por separado, en una EB nueva que necesita guía en iniciativas globales y estrategias de planning; además, dónde queda la mística, la sinergia, el apasionamiento?
En AIESEC LIMA aprendí que un objetivo que no se traza en conjunto jamás será un compromiso de equipo.., aprendí que no importa si las 'ideas' están ya delineadas por las cabezas, importa que el equipo haya colaborado con ellas y la sensación de que se conviertan en ideas de cada uno de ellos.., sólo así el equipo luchará contra viento y marea por una sola causa, y sólo así aprenderá a conocerse, a unir fortalezas, a cubrir debilidades, y a quererse.., mis EBs 02-05 están conformadas por gente tan diferente a mí que no imagino cómo nos hubiésemos hecho grandes amigos sin aquellas horas de trabajo arduo y aquellos intercambios de opiniones apasionados..

Me preocupa no tener ese espacio ahora.., pienso que es clave en la primera etapa del trabajo anual.., and September will be over soon..; me preocupa la conexión, alguien como yo necesita ese espacio para conectar con personas diferentes.., insistí mucho tal vez porque se me dijo que la organización de la planificación no era parte de mi portafolio.., quizá se quedó en mi corazón el rol de LCP :), quizá me emocionó pensar que podía enseñar todo lo que aprendí en AIESEC PERU.., quizá eso se confunde con arrogancia?

Recuerdo aquella vez que mi director de teatro me dio aquel papel que yo taaanto deseaba en una obra de Shakespeare y al mismo tiempo me gritó fuertemente.., confundió el control de mi angustia con altanería.., pensó que daba por sentado mi protagonismo y yo sólo me esforzaba en controlar mi inseguridad de no obtenerlo..

Dentro de esta oscura sensación de 'no conectar', ha sido una salvación contar con un amigo de mi misma 'especie' con quien puedo darme rienda suelta; con mi roomate que hace mi estadía más 'familiar' y dulce..; y con un par de sexys citas que también salvaron el mes..

Sé que mi manera de ser resulta 'censurable' para ciertas personas., siempre ha sido así.., sólo que acá descubrí que Lima no es una ciudad conservadora para nada!..; mi manera de pensar, mi lenguaje no verbal, mi vehemencia y mi estilo liberal no están encajando.., aún después de entender por aquellas miradas de confusión que debo evitar mis manifestaciones ligeras de añoranza hacia el mundo de las drogas y de las bajas pasiones.., y cómo conectar en este mundo tan 'vainilla' si no veo ese deseo de ir en busca de cierta clase de emociones?

Cierta clase de emociones..., I've tried to like aperitives from 5 to 8pm, I've tried to be thrilled by rhymes out loud, or turned on by jumps and punching instead of dancing..

I want crazyness, sensuality and 'derroches de pasión'!, extraño sentir el movimiento de mi cuerpo al ritmo de una música riquísima, quiero excesos, atrevimientos y sentir el arte de la seducción entre hombres y mujeres..

I want tequila at 3am instead of aperitives at 5pm.., better!, I want a delicious man having some tequila, salt and lemon from my neck!.., and I want some pot!!!!!, how difficult is that? OMG!

Extraño salir de la oficina a las 1opm y tener un 'hueco' para ir a tomar unas chelas, un casino, un billar, cine, o un rico sitio donde volverme loca bailando; poder comer lo que quiera incluso a las 4am, extraño tener buses a todas horas, en todas partes.., acá es un lío hasta para ir a comer y ya no puedo caminar más.., y ya no puedo ser 'vainilla' un día más..!

I am definitely 'chocolate' :)
He aquí: 'mi choque cultural'...
... and September will be over soon..
But October will bring some changes..

Suiza neutral: Un estímulo que pedía a gritos..

2005-08-31T20:59:00.000-07:00

'Unus pro omnibus, omnes pro uno'
Quizá la base de su consciencia y colaboración con la sociedad..

Gran tradición de neutralidad política y militar; uno de los estados más ricos y desarrollados del mundo, a pesar de no contar directamente con muchos recursos naturales: causa - consecuencia?

Deseaba conocer al país de bajas tasas de desempleo e inflación.., y está sólo a 6 horas de mi casa así que el 16 de agosto me embarque en lo que debía ser un respiro en mi vida y un necesario retomar de energías positivas, a necessary break from Brescia...

Destino N°1: Nos recibió Carissa, AIESEC como siempre dándome los mejores amigos!, fue CEEDer en México y me cayó super super bien.., con mochila en mano, pasamos por la Svizzera Italiana y llegamos a la Deutsche Schweiz.., Luzern was my first city, bellísima y la dueña del 'Chapel Bridge' o 'Kapellbrücke'.

Me embelesó el azul profundo del río y la belleza de los lagos que me rodeaban en donde estuviera; el verde de los parques y montañas en primavera; el rojo de las banderas que caminaban conmigo; la ternura y confianza de los cisnes que se mezclaban con todos a orillas del río; y el lujo y limpieza de los rincones de este país... Fueron imágenes que en conjunto no veía hacía mucho (aunque el verde de Alemania es inigualable), y ciertamente, totalmente contrarias a las que veía durante el último mes..

Destino N°2: Weggis, de ensueño! y sin duda, mi lugar preferido de lo que conocí de Suiza.., una cena acogedora y riquísima con la familia de Carissa.., paisajes increíbles y reencuentros con mi raza felina, que necesitaba a gritos! ;)

Destino N°3: Llegamos a la Suiza Francesa, Ginebra (Geneve), mucha historia y una de las ciudades principales para la vida profesional.

Conocí la sede de la ONU, la más importante despues de la de New York, me senté en las salas de conferencia enormes, caminé a través de los presentes de los distintos países: la Guerra y la Paz de Francia, el Templo del Cielo de China, el Mástil de Titanio de la Union Soviética, la esfera en honor a Wilson, fundador de la ONU en Ginebra, etc.
En la noche salimos con la gentita aieseca, había alguien a quien hubiese querido conocer más, pero estaba medio amarrada a un 'itinerario' y 'moral' pre-establecidos que debía respetar por motivos logísticos..

Ví muchas vacas.., la famosa fuente de cerca.., dulces que jamás se me hubieses ocurrido que existen.., y un mapa mundi gigante donde toda la frustración del mes pasado se volcó y decidí que necesitaba ir a Africa por más de una razón...

Destino N°4: Neuchâtel, extremadamente atractivo Old Town, al medio de los Alpes Suizos, faltó tiempo para conocer las bellezas de la ciudad natal de aquel que me persiguió en la universidad, el sistemático Jean Piaget.

Destino N°5: Volvemos a la Suiza alemana, bien al norte, a Basilea (Basel)..

De pronto, ví algo familiar.., el Rin!, casi muero de la nostalgia.., lo admiré aquella noche, lo amé durante el día siguiente y el atardecer, mientras murmuraba: 'arrivederci Svizzera'...

No llegué a Zurich, ni a la 'Svizra Rumantscha'.., y no llegué a ver a mi amiga Alexandra en St. Gallen.., sin embargo, este viaje me dio las fuerzas para continuar luchando.., y me dio una amiga más :)

Settle down vs. Run away

2005-08-14T13:25:00.000-07:00

Have my phone, have my laptop, a beautifull apartment!, I have a well paid part time job besides AIESEC, EB year plan is almost done, I have a lot of travel plans and international conferences to assist.., Eurolds in Belgium, EuroCo in Croatia, IC 2006 in Poland and a TTT in Lithuania... :D

So, what's missing?, why I feel like running away from this city?

Everything is stopped or closed now, people is away so we didn't have work meetings, University and AIESEC office is helplessly closed!!, there's only 5-6 people in AIESEC for this term and only 1 is in the city.
I'm understanding AIESEC's culture and difficulties here.., being realistic, Recruitment according XP policies and procedures is gonna be really hard..

Frustration is spying me...

I discovered Brescia was an industrial city years ago (that's why there's a lot of people who lives outside), with time, Brescia grew in population but still doesn't have entertainment, night life is too much to ask.., only aperitives..

Ok, ok, not everything was boring.., I visited Torino for a Finance conference, there I met Isabella, a really nice brasilian and we talked a lot, even personal stuff, was really good to let it go and share my problems..

My roomate is another thing to be happy about, because of her I finally visited the famous 'Lago Di Garda'!!, it was amazingly beautifull but far away from where I live, we need a car for sure..

I need to be patient...

I decided to go to Switzerland for recovering positive energy, so August will be over soon and we will work hard for AIESEC in Brescia..

Dreamed Italy?

2005-07-29T23:30:00.000-07:00

One week since I arrived home..., the dreamed Italy..
Y de conceptos rotos está hecho el mundo... :)

Maybe I expected more...
But don't get me wrong.., I love my job and my apartment like crazy; however, I didn't love learning that some cities in Europe are not flexible enough for my life style.., not enough people, not enough buses, no buses at all after 10pm, no enough discos!, no karaokes, no casinos, no cheap bars!, no crazy night life..

Of course, Italy's culture and history are interesting..
I dreamed all nights with coming here, to the land of Renaissance, Boticelli, Fibonacci, Da Vinci, the visionary Domenico, the exquisite Vivaldi and the great Galileo Galilei.

My dream came true and today I spent my birthday with Maquiavelli..., was not the best birthday, but I will learn to love this city.., and I will learn to enjoy aperitives places from 5pm to 8pm...
Besides, I still need to taste elegant Milan..!

My new friends were really nice to me since day 1.., I know I take my time to feel totally comfortable with new people but I think we are in a good direction..

About work, it started really well, we made SWOT analysis and began planning. EB 2005-2006 (leonessa) is kind of new, so the LCP and I need to improve knowledge in the team, I have a lot to share with them, all I learnt in my CLUL...

Germany: The Land of Ideas..

2005-07-25T14:40:00.000-07:00

Germany...
My first step in the Old World, for a high rated passionate reason,
but totally worthed in the end..
A land of ideas indeed.., a land of poets and thinkers.., innovation and progress.., for sure one of the motors of economy, an excellent example of life and one of my favorite places in Europe for getting inspire..

Some days, totally in love with crazyness; some days, shaking hands with those souls I met years ago.., my dear Nietzsche, the exceptional Wagner, the classical Beethoven and the historical Einstein.., some days getting high with the brilliant pesimism of Schopenhauer, the intensity of Bach and the metaphysic of Kafka..

While remembering all those shadows.., while crossing the line of madness.., one person kept me safe in the side of sanity, bringing my best memories to this different future.., introducing me to his new world and teaching me to say goodbye at the same time..

See you soon Germany..

A plane toward my dreams..

2005-07-08T16:31:00.000-07:00

Inside a plane that took me to my biggest dream

July 6, still dizzy because of that kiss.., totally late at the airport..
.. couldn't stand the tears of my little brother, the sad hug of my mom, and the look of my dad.., some of my best friends were there and FINALLY, I felt something!
I was unable to feel for the past few weeks and I was starting to worry.., it was the fear I guess, fear to leave behind some things, fear to the possibility that they think I want to leave, even if now it is true..., I need to leave...

I couldn't forget my little brother's tears..,
I remembered when he was brought home..., and now I happily understand he's gonna be my responsibility forever..

The plane started to move and it was all so beautiful..,
I have THE experience of my life in front of my eyes, and it will be WOW!
Emotions came back to me! y qué RICO se siente el miedo, la alegría, la angustia y los latidos fuertes del corazón..
I can find again answers in my heart!

After 12 hours in the plane and 12 sweet little papers that moved my soul..,
I arrived to Madrid.... another life began..

Then, a plane to Germany..
and I couldn't stop thinking about lakes and long-nights' conversations in Cologne..

The first thing I saw when I went down the plane :)

Time to say 'goodbye'..

2005-06-19T00:08:00.000-07:00

Time to say goodbye...
As all humans, we love tragedy...

My little brother didn't like the news.., maybe he didn't get it when I said goodbye in a memorable family weekend in the north of Peru...
Great moments with my father are not that usual anymore.., conection with my mother is not that simple anymore.., we needed that weekend off and it was amazing and confortable!

Time with friends.., time with special ones.., time with myself to control excitement and fear..

Time with you, we've said goodbye more than once during these last 2 months.., maybe we sorted some things out, maybe we made them more complicated..., some sangria in the same confortable place, some checks added to our checklists, some unfinished talks, some tender looks and some lies.., and as usual, it was perfect between us..

Plans made to stop in Germany.., impossible to skip it...
I need to see somebody before starting a new life, and timing was perfect.., before Italy, before Cameroon..

Visa Schengen opened for 1 year!
Tickets bought! - Lima - Madrid - Germany - Italy..

Then I said goodbye to my life until my dreams are achieved...

Something new will start!!!

2005-05-09T23:00:00.000-07:00

When feeling kind of confused, desmotivated and helpless about my AIESEC carrier..
.. and what's more frightening.., when I was totally desmotivated about my psichology carrier..

A really boring evenning, sitting in front of my computer, in probably the most boring work I've ever had, an email arrived to my inbox... and hope just invaded my world..
A lifetime opportunity was offered to me because of my work as LCP in AIESEC LIMA..

Some months later and after a LONG selection process...
TODAY...

... I was selected VP People Development for LC BRESCIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So.., I'm moving out to Italy with all expenses covered in there, plus a part time job in a company..

Wow!.. AIESEC is taking me now to the dreamed Italy..

Now, I can't hardly wait!!!!
.. but somehow I did it since this February!!! Fuck! 3 1/2 months for selection process!!

.. from one high emotion to another very different but high still.. I love it!

What tears mean sometimes...

2005-05-06T11:58:00.000-07:00

Not always equal to sadness or suffering tears..

.. and they are the best ones ;)

Sharing, remembering, and feeling certain moments again can make you feel very sensitive and vulnerable sometimes...
.. and as if it weren't enough!..
There are always those few people who just have that kind of power on you: they are able to hurt you very deep..
And that's really the beautiful thing for me!..
People who can hurt you the most are not your enemies.., people who can impact on you the most are those you love and those that love you back...
In an specific perspective, it doesn't matter if they actually hurt you or make you happy, it doesn't matter if it's in a direct or indirect way.., cause the true fact is ONLY that they CAN.., they are the only ones that can destroy you emotionally.. :)

... and that's why a lot of people are afraid to love...

Cause nothing will hurt you more than see them suffer.., and nothing will matter to you more than their happiness, their well-being, their opinions about your decisions, and how they show to you with each act or detail that they care about you...

These kind of tears I'm talking about appear when you care...

.. then you are living!..

And you asked me again: why?..

.. don't you know I am extremaly happy for being able to feel and dare like "this"?, in a way not everybody can.., for being able to love and let you love me?.. why don't you?

But at the end of the day, at the end of the life.., I will say I conquered that fear..

Fear to suffer, fear to live, fear to die..
Hard of course, but.. tell me if you can, what really bad can happen?
There is so much in the world to be afraid of.. but not this!.. not my own feelings! not even yours..

With whom will you dare to be yourself if it's not with your special ones??

But you keep asking me why?

I loose my count..
... I love to cry.., I love feeling exhausted after it..

This time was not for you..

For my Tril.., my reason today..

An stage of my life just ended..

2005-05-02T17:25:00.000-07:00

Ayer terminó oficialmente mi período como PRESIDENTA de AIESEC LIMA...

It was amazing..!!!

.. A year full of emotions and learning!.., full of challenges, mistakes and more learning!
After this year I've gained so much that I can't describe it with words and it was my dream came true...

Being LCP was definitively my best leadership experience so far and one of my best experiences ever..

Nevertheless, I'm not as happy as I wanted with the results in general. After national conference I saw things in another perspective..., I felt that we lost somethings we used to have... and I'm not talking just about my LC but about all AIESEC PERU...
We will loose AIESEC culture if we keep forgetting about enjoying our work, about living diversity and about learning from what we do each day..., or maybe we are just very tense about all absurds things that happened just few months ago..

About my LCP period...
I made good things and I made mistakes...
but this is not finished!...
.. I will stay close and I will keep doing things for my CLUL... I will..

In the meantime... THANKS TO ALL MY TEAM :)

One year ago.. becoming LCP..
Transition night - NATCO May 1, 2004

More beautiful memories 2004

2005-04-24T20:43:00.000-07:00

My LCPs!!! from 2002 to 2004

.. and my dear friends!..

.. and after a lot of nerves waiting for the votes and the Local Comitee decision.., after transition with Andrea.. and lots of expectations.., the 1st of May 2004, .. my LCP period started...!!!
.. with my new EB :)

A lot of LC times.., conferences.., learning.., moments of crisis.., moments of truly happiness..,
.. and trying to lead the team..
Definitively, my best experience in AIESEC and in life..!!!

NATCO October 2004 with new newies..

Some beautiful memories 2003-2004

2005-04-23T18:58:00.000-07:00

Not all are frustrations and bad times...

In August 2002, AIESEC became THE passion of my life and my favorite OBSESSION thanks to one of my dearest friends..
How I wish to have known AIESEC before!!! Damn it!..
Well, I got involved in this amazing organization, -www.aiesec.org-, and suddenly all I wanted here was to live all the opportunities I could, learn a lot and became an AIESEC LIMA Director!

After a lot of efforts, a lot of quick learning, and after solving a broken match.., I finally became part of the "Executive Board of AIESEC LIMA"!

Here my EB 2003-2004!
.. a year of huge learning and amazing discoveries..
.. a great team.., and my best friends, then and now!

Of course I was the VP S&L 2003-2004!
.. and I have the most beautiful memories from my Service and Learning period.. TWICE!!!

S&L Team 2003
Here we are all together in the Brasilian dinner and cultural presentation we organized with our Ceeders "los chuchukos"
Notice all my team in Brasilian t-shirts :)
.. and how can I forget the Service boys!

... and after one year of "S&L"...

we evolved in "People Development area"!!
The beginning of 2004 brought a lot of changes, a lot of challenges..., a new team.., and new LCP dreams and aspirations for myself..

.. a dream that came true!..

People Development team 2004-2005

.. and I was already LCPe!!!

A gift from heaven?

2005-03-27T20:37:00.000-08:00

Another month is finishing and the emotion is growing up inside of me...

Selection process for Italy is killing me!!!!
It's taking so long and I don't have idea about other candidates...
I'll just believe I'll get it.., a part of me just knows I will be there... I just know it..
I think it's true that when you want something so bad, the whole world conspires to make it happen... :)

So strange the way it appeared.., as a gift from heaven...
Because of AIESEC, now I can share my knowledge and experience with another country and another culture by going to the same challenges...
I will get it!!
.. and I will have a whole year to live new things, to define myself and to see how life really is when you are by your own.

I just saw my life from my own future and I realized that I achieved a lot..,
I conquered a lot and also managed very difficult things and situations.., time made its job it's true, but I did it on my own, and I'm stronger now.., I know myself better and I have a great turn in my path..

Luchas y frustraciones..

2005-01-23T23:48:00.000-08:00

In my house's basement.., thinking HOW to stop this.., preparing some “refutations” (mociones) and hoping it all goes right..

Meanwhile, I lost one of my best VPs, who I admire and in whom I had a lot of hopes for next term..
It was his decision and I couldn't ask him not to, even if I was dying to do so... that's not what I was supposed to do.., I just waited with frustration, knowing that after it, nothing could turn time back..

I'm also afraid of loosing a friend..

This month at work was totally difficult.., motivation is going down very fast for everybody.., frustration sometimes leads us to very useless thoughts, but it also gives us sense, makes us discover or meet again with what we are, with what we believe in, with our values and principles, with what matters to each one of us..

And here comes the question about how to manage the responsibilities of my leadership position with the responsibilities I have as 'ME'.., as a person who someday will turn her head back to evaluate herself.. to evaluate what I did, what I stood for, what I chose in those important moments.., if I chose convenience, if I chose to let fear invade with silence.., if I chose to let things just happen.. ; or if I chose to stand for what I believe in, for what it’s fair..
I already know the answer.., I have always known..
… I will never be unfaithful to myself.., cause I could loose more..

There´s no one poorest than those who doesn’t have sense and soul..

LCP AIESEC LIMA
Trying to find the “middle” point without turn them down.. my EB and my LC..

Existen las casualidades?

2005-01-05T16:29:00.000-08:00

Desde ITALIA una linda oportunidad acaba de llegar a mi inbox!!!!!!!!

Parece mentira pensar que en el momento en que me encontraba más desmotivada, más frustrada, con más dudas que nunca, totalmente varada y en stand by en mi carrera aieseca y en mi carrera profesional llegara esto..

Nunca creí en casualidades...

Desde ANAR, (muchos se acordaran de mi trabajo en "ANAL" jajaja).., ahora pienso en el 2005 como un mar de emociones y oportunidades que YO me las he ganado, por mi trabajo y esfuerzo... aún falta mucho por concretar, considerando que muchos se postularán a lo que YO quiero.. pero simplemente siento que esto me cayo del cielo y SE que esto será para mí...
QUE EL MUNDO CONSPIRE...

Keep in touch to see the results!!!!!!!!

NEW YEAR 2005!

2005-01-03T16:41:00.000-08:00

... Quizá un último año nuevo en Lima por un tiempo...

Este fue el año nuevo de la estafa de la fiesta en Asia :), afortunadamente el mío fue más tranquilo y con menos decepciones..
Un año nuevo que terminó en 2 días olvidándome del mundo sin planearlo, 2 días en una carpa sin las provisiones necesarias ya que, por alguna razón, no pude moverme y la inercia me invadió.
La compañía fue perfecta esos 2 días.., casi como si hubiera estado conmigo misma..

Fue un año donde dejé muchas obsesiones, que aunque "olvidadas", siempre recordaré a mi manera.., con una sonrisa..
Fue un año en que me volví a enamorar (o al menos creí hacerlo..), después de aquella vez en la que esa posibilidad se veía tan lejos, a pesar que sabía que volvería a hacerlo.., ahora sé que cada vez será totalmente diferente y eso me lleva a preguntarme.. cómo sabré entonces la diferencia?
Un año en el cual aprendí que hay gente que no "quiere" ser feliz.. y no lo sabe.., cuán grande puede ser el poder del miedo..
Un año donde confirmé que amar no es suficiente y que, aunque el amor no exista, cómo se sufre por ese concepto!
Un año donde donde superé lo más difícil que me ha tocado hasta ahora.. decepciones, incertidumbre y momentos en los que no quería levantarme..

Y acá estoy, celebrando fin de año con personas importantes cerca.. nunca faltan los roces y expectativas distintas.. pero las amistades que duran y las superan son invaluables..
Un poco de vino y tequila en Asia; una conversación especial, que quizá nunca llegué a entender; una llamada lindísima, some dancing, algo inesperado, confesiones.., y un atardecer en la playa contigo..
Gracias a ustedes por compartir sus "año nuevo" conmigo al igual que todo el 2004..

¡FELIZ AÑO NUEVO 2005 a todos!

Atardecer en la playa.. bella forma de empezar el año.. Gracias!

DECEMBER 2004

2004-12-31T16:03:00.000-08:00

How your life can totally change in few minutes by actions you can't see...

... cause when you manage to see them... it's already too late ...
Sometimes we think we have the power to decide how our lifes are going to be...,
nevertheless we don't always pay attention to some consequences of our acts...

Have we usually realized how just an small action or an smile can have a big impact in other person's decisions?, or backards?

December brought intense emotions for me...,

and I AM an emotional person who probably feels much more intense than the majority of people..., talking about levels only, not about how I manage it, cause then, I'm more rational..

December 5th, too much sadness and frustration.. and it went worst..

On the opposite side.., December 25th brought revelations, peace, happiness and sublime emotions!.., as my life uses to be.., sharing deep thoughts and feelings, having an spontaneous and unexpected night..

That's what I love the most from life ;)

My reasons..

2004-12-30T23:58:00.000-08:00

I write since I was 7 years old I think..

Now, the world has given me another way to do it.., and all my hundred diaries and my thousands thoughts will be here.., the most important of all my stages in life, the most important of my experiences..

I write because I don't know how NOT to express myself..
My mind just flows with it..
.. it's the only way to calm down my emotions, my feelings and my "thinking"..

My memory is like everybody else's.., can not keep on top all my moments, all my thoughts..
I had always read a lot, but I also produce 'my own' through my life experience and my intellect..
I have always asked myself: .. Do I have another source? another way?..
.. maybe in a parallel world or state.. but then again.. I've always felt like living in a parallel state and some things I will only know by dying and living again.. and even so, it's just a possibility..

My thoughts and memories will be stopped in time.., my life on words.., my experiences on ideas.. my opinion about and for the world..
My way to always be able to come back to basics..

My thoughts evolving.., my emotions and feeling getting consistent.., my vision and philosophy taking shape.., my personality turning stronger and more flexible at the same time.., my past shaping my future and my soul.., growing up into beauty and toward a meaningful life..

An "Ode to Philosophy" and other things..