The first layer of my philosophy
I grew up thinking that the most important in "my" world was to be faithful with myself.., no matter what.., and that means a lot actually.., more than I thought then..
It was, and it is.., a fight with the "a priori ways" we all have for protecting our conscious mind, who can't stand all our emotions, fears, desires and feelings..
I think I started fighting my "ego defense mechanisms" since I was conscious I "am"..
Never liked to be blinded by those mechanisms.. so, without noticing, I was learning to be "awake".., to feel everything.., even the most powerful and basic desires as killing and lust..
Since I remember, I tried to embrace everything I felt and all my dreams as reality.., without any guilt, without any shame..
I think that's why I can shout my heart's longings without any shame and without caring what people think..
That's why I can be in the center of my own deep sorrow and sit there, quiet and still.., without doing anything to hide it or make it disappear.., embracing it instead!.., without closing my soul or my heart because of it...
That's why I can dance..
That's why I have disappointed others in order to be loyal to myself..
.. and I'll keep doing it..
That's why I can live failures, problems, heart breakings, pains, betrayals, death, and still shout to the universe: I LOVE BEING ALIVE..!!
That's why I like my own company and..,
.. that's why this layer of my philosophy holds me from inside..
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