Relevant

I've been having these dreams..., several ones around the same subject..
No.., you are not in any of them...
I think you have never been in any of my dreams.., or at least I don't remember one..
Maybe you are not usually in my mind.., you weren't in my mind before, and you are really not in my daily life either...
However, you have always been relevant..
and you have never been that relevant as you are now..

And a little piece of paper, written in green, appears in my head, 
a paper that will forever contain (and maintain) that part of our complex human nature..,
Humano, demasiado humano..
1998 was not its birthday day, and 2022 is not its murder day..

I'm somehow happy (and can't avoid feeling conscious about it when thinking in the post-pandemic world, and in most other people's options and life in general)..
Well, until my life allows this, I feel happy and fortunate..
and I hope/wish you are too..
  
I'm sorry for what was on my side, and I'm glad for what was worthed..
Maybe in my dreams I have to say 'I'm sorry', maybe I have just to say 'hello'..,
anyways, ... I'm sorry, and hello...
You are not that relevant though.., don't be worried.., you are just relevant in my story..
The story of my philosophy, my fights, my several falls (that you listened and helped with only one word)..
... and my flaws.., those flaws you never saw...

Sometimes, I miss myself then.. 

.. and then I discover the source of your relevancy.., 
the representation of a human but indeed inocent bond, needed on those tragic/magic life moments, transition stages, and privileged sensations and regrets..
I was then, light and flawless.., indeed..

But I'm happy.., (and I know you are too).., in this real world.., 
and not because I'm mature enough to cope.., but because I had the best of the gifts you can have in life.., as you do too.. 
and yes, now I have flaws and slow dance motions,
 or maybe I have to dream it off first, and remember...: 

1998 was not its birthday day, and today is not its murder day...